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You know you've moved to the South when. . .

  1. Common language at work includes phrases like, "I ain't got none" and "We don't have no."
  2. The female cast of Dallas can be found within a stone's throw. Think big, Texas-style, frosted hair.
  3. You walk down the isle at work and could swear a guy is sitting at his desk chewing snuff and spitting it into a cup. AT WORK! (this was likely sunflower seeds, but still. . .)
  4. At Christmas you'll find in the middle of the town square a Confederate soldier standing watch over a nativity scene complete with a black wise man.
  5. The bar and grill down the road has to have a staff conference to determine if they sell wine by the bottle.
  6. There are no less than 36 Christian radio stations to be found when you hit "seek" on your car radio.
  7. Sweet tea is a staple. If you're ordering tea, you bet your bottom it's going to be sweet. This is as opposed to only being able to find it at Arby's, McAllister's and McDonalds if you go just across the state line.
  8. A winter storm sends people fleeing for home and screaming "the end is near!"
  9. A winter storm means no school for a week and radio stations that broadcast, "Public schools are canceled for the entire listening area."
  10. You get to take the southern route to Colorado, thus avoiding the long, boring drive on I-70 across Kansas.

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